Mamma has always had a love for other people's possessions. Her house is like a giant magpie's nest. Everything in it is second-hand, some items legitimately purchased but most stolen. A collection of knick-knacks clutters her mantelpiece, thrown together with no regard for colour, form or value.

"I'm not like all the other dragons," it sniffs.

I sigh and lower the point of my spear. Seems like this one wants to talk. Over the years I've realized that dragons, like humans, will gladly unburden themselves

My new girlfriend, Cynthia, has to be the stupidest woman I've ever met. How stupid is she? On our first date she actually told me she thought chocolate milk came only from brown cows.

Sometimes Koko's rabbit would tell her stories.

These weren't pleasant stories, by and large. Mostly they tended to be stories about things with fangs and claws, the sorts of things rabbits feared.

My cat ordered a dreamcatcher over the Internet. The first I knew was the package arriving in my mailbox, together with the invoice.

I glared down at him. "Tom, how many times have I told you – using my credit card without permission is fraud."

Welcome to the f'ing future, right? I mean, this is what all the movies said it was going to be like, right? My name's Jay Reaper, ‘cause I'm death to anybody that crosses- Okay, well, my real name's Jeremy Farmer, but you've got to figure I'm a little BA since I'm still around.

Singapore was Asia light, a gentle introduction to the Pacific Rim, or so I believed. Perhaps my experience would have been like visiting a moist Disneyland, had it not been for the lizards. I settled in at my friends' house, an old colonial

Sunday 5pm

"Did you forget to pay the power bill again, Gary?"

"Um...I dunno. Yeah, maybe..."